I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
