I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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