Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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