My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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