I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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