...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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