Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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