Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
