At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Blood and glitter go together right?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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