wrigley field is MILF paradise
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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