from now on my penis is your penis
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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