help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
