Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
