therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
