so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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