suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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