so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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