I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
