I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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