Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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