im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
