My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
