Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
