I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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