so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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