Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
