i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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