apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
