i jhust puked up my retainher.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
