I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
