Heybabeimwearingurpanties
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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