He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
