no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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