They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
being pregnant is like rehab
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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