So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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