In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
