I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
