6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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