just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Randomize
