when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
