My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
