Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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