I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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