She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
