I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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