SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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