is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
