i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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