we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
