So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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