Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am mentally ready for anal.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
