I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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