They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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