My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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